3 Tips On Becoming A Better You

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2018 is about to come to an end and some of us are, well, still trying to figure out how to get our shit together a.k.a BE A BETTER PERSON.

Many of us just pass it off and say “next year” or “tomorrow.” I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve done this so many times and I’ve set so many New Year’s resolutions but then something clicked…
In the midst of an in depth conversation with my wife, it dawned on me that New Year’s resolutions ARE NOT SOLUTIONS. It is, in my opinion, an excuse to put off what you can do today.

So, as I’ve picked my self up and decided to get my LIFE, I want to share a few tips that I’ve learned along my journey that I’m hoping to be helpful to you in becoming a better person…

1. Make the choice to be a better person – Easier said than done? NO! Realize that you have all the choices in the world. Everything you do from eating to drinking to blinking is all a choice whether conscious or subconscious. Make the choice to be a better person by making the choice to allow yourself to grow. When you do this, you release mental blocks keeping you from tapping into your true potential.

2. Be honest with yourself – This can be hard sometimes, but always remember that if you lie to yourself, then you will LIVE a lie. For instance, if you know you need to eat a well balanced meal, stop blaming Becky Sue at the McDonalds down the street for your eating habits. Take responsibility for your life and be honest with yourself about the changes you need to make!

3. SET GOALS!!! SET GOALS!!! SET MOTHER FREAKING GOALS! – Setting goals gives you purpose and a reason to become a better person. If you’re not used to setting and accomplishing goals, start small. For instance, set a goal to make your bed every day and stick to it. From there, create more goals and challenge yourself to accomplish them!

Okay, let’s take a break here…take some time to digest these tips and make them work for you! Feel free to drop me a line and tell me if they are working out for you. Be sure to stay tuned for more!

 

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Learn to #LiveYourBestLife!

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Do you ever get the feeling like you’re constantly putting out fires? Like life is one
massive struggle to stay afloat?
Do you come home from work feeling tired and stressed and without the energy to do
anything other than collapse in front of the TV?
Do you always feel like you’re just not quite as happy as you think you could be/should
be?
That’s life my friend. Or at least it’s life as many of us have come to know it. In fact
though, there’s no reason that this should necessarily be the case. The problem is that we’re always chasing after the gold at the end of the rainbow and in
doing so, we never stop to smell the roses.
Sorry to mix metaphors there but I feel it paints a fairly accurate picture of the situation.
We’re never happy because we’re always striving for what’s next. We’re always stressed
about what’s coming up and we never appreciate what we have until we lose it. We think that the only way to change this is to change our lives. To work harder and
longer.
But it’s not. The way we change this is from the inside out. We need to change the way
we think about our situation and we need to change the way we approach life’s
problems and the way we enjoy the moment.
And that means taking control of our minds. Once you can do that, you can take back
control and you can feel confident, relaxed and happy in the exact same circumstances.
Once you can do that, you can start creating the space to actually plot a course and to
start changing life for the better. You can stop treading water and start swimming.
All very abstract, yes. So far it sounds like a platitude from a bumper sticker.
But stick with me, because this is where the science comes in. And it might just change
the way you think about your life, your brain and the interplay between the two.

It’s Your Perception That Matters
Think about it this way: it’s not the situation that matters, it’s your perception of the
situation that matters.
And I mean this in the most literal and realistic of senses.
Think about it this way: you can be surrounded by fire and be completely calm and
happy, or you can be relaxing at home and be completely stressed.
In the first case scenario, you’re surrounded by fire but you believe that you’re
invincible. As far as you’re concerned, nothing can hurt you and you have nothing to
fear. As a result, you remain calm and your heart rate doesn’t even rise (well, other than
from the effects of the heat!).

In the second scenario, you’re sitting at home, comfortable and with a warm cup of tea.
You’re surrounded by family who love you and you have the TV on showing your
favorite TV program. But all you can think about is the work you have to do tomorrow,
your money problems and the fact that you’re not as well off as successful as you’d like
to be.
As a result, your body and brain interpret the signals as you being in danger. Your brain
produces more norepinephrine, more cortisol, more dopamine and more adrenaline. As
a result, the person who is surrounded by flames but deluded is actually happier and
calmer than the person who is sat at home but stressing out.
Now of course I’m not saying that you should be like the deluded guy surrounded by
fire… That’s dangerous!
But you also really shouldn’t be like the stressed guy who should be relaxed. And here’s
the thing: lots of us are!
THIS is why it’s so important to start taking control of your mind. Because it’s what will
impact on your happiness, your calm, your focus and on all the other things that
contribute to you being happy and successful.
Changing your environment and circumstances is often incredibly difficult – nigh
impossible even – but you can change your mind today. And that can bring incredible
benefits.


The Power of Affirmations

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Before we begin, let’s take the time to break down what an affirmation is. An affirmation is really anything that you think and say, both silently and aloud. This normal process of using our brains to guide us, is the very process that affirms our experiences and how we perceive reality. Many times, it can be very easy to say and think negatively and in turn find ourselves having bad experiences. When this happens, we can feel like we are standing on a road with two paths to follow without any clear direction. The great thing about affirmations simply being what we say and think, is that we can change these affirmations. We can speak to the negative affirmations with positive ones.

 

How they work: Affirmations work in a very simple, yet powerful way. Affirmations actually train our brains, our thinking patterns, our self speak, all ultimately translating into a healthier and happier state of mind.

How to use them: Understanding how to use affirmations is the key to any success that you are desiring. With these 5 steps, you can begin changing your life and how you perceive it:

1. Start with “I am”: This is how you affirm for yourself what you are ready to believe and train your brain to always seek

2. Be sure to stay in the present moment and keep it positive: Staying in the present moment allows you to not dwell on what has already passed and keeping your affirmation positive allows you to counteract negative thoughts and speech that may try to force themselves in.

3. Be very specific, but brief: Be very mindful of your affirmation and let it focus on something that you want to change right now but make it brief so that you can remember it.

4. Repeat your affirmations: Stating your affirmation, both silently and aloud, allows your brain and subconscious to capture what it is you are affirming.

5. Practice Daily: Make your affirmations a daily practice. You can practice them any where and at any time that is comfortable for you. Just be sure to make a habit of them.

 

Daily affirmations are positive statements that declare a specific goal. They are simple yet powerful and can make a world of a difference.

 

If you need guidance on creating an affirmation, I am here to help along the way. Reach out and Heal You.

Contact me: Destinee@HealYouMD.com

 


Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

Okay, so the year is getting closer to end and the goals we’ve planned seem to be getting further away. Work is out of control, the days seem shorter, and there seems to be zero hours left on the clock for “me time”. This is the time of year where reflective thoughts kick in and our brains go into this “what if?” and “why me?” state.

The great thing is, there is a cure for this overload that doesn’t require more than simple advice. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Period. The amount of stress that happens around this time of year is quite normal and it usually stems from an overabundance of questions about days that have passed, not allowing room for us to grow today.

If you aren’t sure where to start or even want a refresher, here are a 4 tips that you can use to not be so hard on yourself:

  1. Set realistic expectations. Know that it is okay to make mistakes because…YOU. ARE. HUMAN. Remember that mistakes are not to be used as excuses, but rather to learn the lesson from them and move forward in growth.
  2. Challenge your negative inner critic. We experience over 35 thoughts PER MINUTE. It is okay to let thoughts flow naturally, but just as naturally as they flow in, allow them to make their path out. For those negative thoughts that creep in, don’t be afraid to talk to them. Get real with them, and replace them with positive speech. A good practice of this can be to utilize short and simple affirmations.
  3. Put things into perspective. The best way to calm stress is to think about perspective. In moments where you may be hard on yourself, think about this perspective: Instead of “why is this situation happening to me?” and “I wish it were different,” how about “I’m going to make a new situation happen” and “I look forward to starting fresh.”
  4. Treat yourself as your own best friend. Practice being kind and loving toward yourself.

 

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Why Stress Isn’t Always a Bad Thing…

Why Stress Isn’t Always a Bad Thing – And How to Tap Into a Flow State

Your brain releases a large number of hormones and neurotransmitters in response to your cognition. When you are in danger, this leads to the release of dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin to help make you more alert, stronger and faster.

This is the fight or flight response and it’s you at your most powerful.

The problem is that many of us are stressed a lot of the time now and we don’t know how to turn off that fight or flight response. Thus we try to eliminate stress and think we would be a lot happier if we could.

But the reality is that stress isn’t a ‘bad thing’. Rather, stress is a valuable tool that we should tap into when necessary. The key is not to eliminate stress but rather to control it. In this post, we will look at some ways you can do that.

What is a Flow State?

A great example of stress as a positive thing is the flow state. Flow states are states of heightened concentration, increased focus and lightning reflexes. Often they are engaged when we partake in extreme sports, or when we’re completely focused on our work or a conversation.

But essentially, the neurotransmitters associated with flow states are very similar to those associated with stress. The only real difference is that you are producing more anandamide (the ‘bliss’ hormone) and more serotonin. In other words, the only real difference is that you are enjoying the experience rather than being afraid of it.

So if you can tap into that when you’re next stressed, then in theory you can experience those same heightened reflexes and attention whenever you need them.

The key is simply to try and see the stressful situation not as something scary but rather as an opportunity to learn and to develop yourself further. View it as a challenge and your body will adapt accordingly.

Another example of ‘positive stress’ is what’s known as eustress.

Eustress is the type of stress that motivates us to do things when we need to. For example, eustress is the type of stress you experience when you have an exam coming up. This may not feel very nice – but that stress is actually what stops you from spending all day sleeping and motivates you to get up and revise. Studies show that people with no stress response don’t succeed as well in life and end up letting their talents go to waste.
This is something to note next time you need a kick up the rear – just remind yourself why what you’re doing is important and why you need to focus on it. If you can do this, then you can tap into the positive power of stress and stop seeing it as your enemy.

The rest of the time? Just try to distance yourself from that stress response and tell your body ‘thanks but no thanks’. If you remind yourself why you don’t need to be stressed, often this is enough to do it!


Expressing Gratitude

I just want to take some time out to thank each and everyone of you for stopping by. Over the past few months, I have been making a transition to WordPress and finally have a better understanding of how to utilize the platform. My goal is to provide you with the best material, daily inspirations, and a meaningful site! Thank you for your patience. If you haven’t already, please subscribe for your daily inspiration!


Starting Over

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Starting over became the foundation on which I built my life
~J.K Rowlings

 

Let’s go back to child hood for a moment. Imagine this: You’re nine years old, sitting at the table completing your homework. You’ve rushed through it, your work is sloppy and you know that you’re going to be told to re-write it. So, what do you do? You rip that page out and START OVER.

 ♥

Now, apply this to your life in this waking moment. You may be in a place where you’re…well…just not feeling it. Things seem to go wrong. You’re tired of being tired. You hate your job. Your relationships aren’t flowing the way that you would like. Ultimately, you are searching for your happiness and desire ways to Heal YOU! The most amazing thing is, you can START OVER.

 ♥

Okay, whine a little. Find every complaint that you can muster up and Get. It. Out! Yes, starting over takes some diligence but you can turn your life around in an instance all while enjoying your life journey. 

 ♥

Here are 4 Tips to help you with Starting Over…In Life!

 

1. Determine Who You Want To Be: This is the time to dig deep down and ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?” While asking yourself this question, keep in mind that there is no one judging you and there are no barriers keeping you from being honest with yourself. It’s okay to be true in your answer and to not flee from your purest thought. Once you have answered this question, hold on to your answer and FANTASIZE. Fantasize everyday about who you are determined to become. You will notice that you will be driven to think positive thoughts and make small changes, each day, helping you to become your ideal self.

 

2. Take Care of Your Body and Mind: Your mind feeds your body and your body returns it to your mind. Your mind and body are connected, forming the behaviors in which you perform. Be mindful of the content you consume on a daily basis and make healthier choices. Spend time reading, listening to, and watching positive messages. When you do this, you may find that you are even making healthier choices on how you nourish your body. You might find yourself drinking tea, instead of soda, and you may even find yourself on a workout regimen. Both are recommended. Ultimately, be kind to both your mind and body as these are the two that make up the vessel in which you live!

 

3. Think Proactively: Thinking proactively simply means to think forward. Everything that has happened before this present moment is the past. Even the last sentence you read! If you want to be healthy, happy, and in love, it would not be fair to you to believe that you must dwell on past hurt, mistakes, and hardships. Those are all of the past. A way to think about it: You are only at this moment because you’ve gotten through the past. Keep taking steps forward, thinking forward, and being proactive in all that you do.

 

4. Just Do It: Simple! There is no better time, than NOW to start over in life. You do not have to wait for a certain day or time. You can start making changes in this moment. Your moment to start over, in life, is right here and it starts with you!


Starting Over

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Starting over became the foundation on which I built my life

~J.K Rowlings

 

Let’s go back to child hood for a moment. Imagine this: You’re nine years old, sitting at the table completing your homework. You’ve rushed through it, your work is sloppy and you know that you’re going to be told to re-write it. So, what do you do? You rip that page out and START OVER.

 

Now, apply this to your life in this waking moment. You may be in a place where you’re…well…just not feeling it. Things seem to go wrong. You’re tired of being tired. You hate your job. Your relationships aren’t flowing the way that you would like. Ultimately, you are searching for your happiness and desire ways to Heal YOU! The most amazing thing is, you can START OVER.

 

Okay, whine a little. Find every complaint that you can muster up and Get. It. Out! Yes, starting over takes some diligence but you can turn your life around in an instance all while enjoying your life journey. 

 

Here are 4 Tips to help you with Starting Over…In Life!

 

1. Determine Who You Want To Be: This is the time to dig deep down and ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?” While asking yourself this question, keep in mind that there is no one judging you and there are no barriers keeping you from being honest with yourself. It’s okay to be true in your answer and to not flee from your purest thought. Once you have answered this question, hold on to your answer and FANTASIZE. Fantasize everyday about who you are determined to become. You will notice that you will be driven to think positive thoughts and make small changes, each day, helping you to become your ideal self.

 

2. Take Care of Your Body and Mind: Your mind feeds your body and your body returns it to your mind. Your mind and body are connected, forming the behaviors in which you perform. Be mindful of the content you consume on a daily basis and make healthier choices. Spend time reading, listening to, and watching positive messages. When you do this, you may find that you are even making healthier choices on how you nourish your body. You might find yourself drinking tea, instead of soda, and you may even find yourself on a workout regimen. Both are recommended. Ultimately, be kind to both your mind and body as these are the two that make up the vessel in which you live!

 

3. Think Proactively: Thinking proactively simply means to think forward. Everything that has happened before this present moment is the past. Even the last sentence you read! If you want to be healthy, happy, and in love, it would not be fair to you to believe that you must dwell on past hurt, mistakes, and hardships. Those are all of the past. A way to think about it: You are only at this moment because you’ve gotten through the past. Keep taking steps forward, thinking forward, and being proactive in all that you do.

 

4. Just Do It: Simple! There is no better time, than NOW to start over in life. You do not have to wait for a certain day or time. You can start making changes in this moment. Your moment to start over, in life, is right here and it starts with you!

 


3 Need-To-Knows About Validating Yourself

“Validate yourself. With yourself. For yourself. By yourself.” ~Unknown

internal-validation

I thought of this theory…hypothesis, rather. What if (external) validation is nothing more than:

Validating your Awareness of Living in Denial And Thinking Internal, Ongoing, Negative thoughts?

Simply, I believe that external validation is a way to continuously deny yourself happiness, and give into negative thoughts. I also believe that we are very aware of our yearning for external validation.

External Validation vs. Positive Attention

You may ask, “well isn’t this healthy? External Validation…because then that means there is positive attention?” The answer may be no. External validation is very different from positive attention. External Validation is when you are seeking the approval of others in order to be happy and positive attention is a praise for something that you already know you’ve done well. For instance: If you write a poem and then ask someone “is it okay?” That’s seeking external validation. If you write a poem, knowing it’s great and someone TELLS you that it’s great…that’s positive attention. With positive attention, external validation will not hold precedence over how you feel about YOU, your talents, and your decisions.

Why internal validation?

While it does feel rather amazing to receive external validation, internal validation is actually your healing MEDICATION. Internal validation allows you to accept YOU just as you are without needing much approval and it helps you to stop over-judging yourself!

 

Of course there are some tips to help guide you towards learning to validate yourself:

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